Friday, August 15, 2008

Toddler Olympics

In the spirit of the Olympic games going on right now I bring you a brief list of events in which my son and I have competed in the last few days:

The 100m Diaper Dash - in which toddler tells mom 'poop' while pointing at diaper (style points awarded for creativity) and then runs away as soon as a fresh diaper is in view. Again, style points for creativity such as running under the kitchen table or making it to the stairs.

Fingernail Fencing - in which mom tries to cut the long, scratchy fingernails of a squirming 19 month old. (rules clarification - if you must use distraction technique like cartoons, points are deducted from overall score).

Hammer Throw - how many toys can we get taken away in a single day for hitting with/throwning them? The bigger the tantrum, the better your score.

Dancing with Mom Decathalon - Dance with your mommy. Hold her hand. Show her how to stop your foot and swing your hips. Spin all around, make her pick you up for a slow song. Better scores are generally awarded to those who can get Daddy involved too.

Yogurt Wrestling - Freestyle - Eat your yogurt. Ask for more. Eat half of it - spread the other half about yourself and your surroudings in the most creative messy way possible. Extra points awarded if mom has to lift you straight into the bathtub from high chair.

Toy Box Relay - Help mom pick up toys and get them into the toybox. Better scores awarded to teams in which the toddler is the one to do the most bending over.

Thwart the Clean Floor Exercises - As mom tries to sweep the floor, take your broom or the dust pan broom and systematically sweep moms pile around the room - winner is the one that makes mom give up and wait until nap time to finish sweeping.

Highchair High Jump - See if you can escape from apparatus while mom is getting the rag to wipe you down. Higher difficulty points if you are a)properly strapped in and b)if you can do it without hurting yourself or any household pets.

And now some photo highlights of these games:

Here is our athlete giving his best pout/tantrum face during the Hammer Throw:

Here we are enjoying Yogurt Wrestling Freestyle - this athlete was awarded 'straight to the tub' points:

Dancing with mom Decathalon - both of our athletes are looking pretty tired, but never the less have put on a stunning performance in front of Dad.

Last but not least after our Little Olympian went to bed I made progress on the sweater. I would have finished but it was just to damn hot to knit last night (crazy I know, but even the smallest amount of wool in my lap made my brain itch).

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